The Academy Awards: No Longer Exceedingly Retarded?

I hate the Academy Awards. I almost never agree with thier bullshit decisions about what’s best in cinema. Witness the following examples that illustrate my point:

Exhibit A: Stanley Kubrick never won an Oscar in his entire career.
Exhibit B: Neither has Ridley Scott (for Best Director). You know, the director of Alien, Blade Runner, Legend, Thelma and Louise, Gladiator, and more. Clearly the man’s a hack… The year Gladiator was beat out by Traffic (for Best Director) was a deal breaker for me. Give the man who overused used lame blue and yellow tint to symbolise geographical location based on nationality the award over the man who RECREATED ROME. That was it. The Academy Awards and I went our separate ways. We haven’t seen each other since.

However, in a spasm of clarity, the dusty old farts at the Academy Awards nominated Guillermo del Toro’s brilliant film, Pan’s Labyrinth for six awards yesterday: Best Foreign Film, Best Screenplay, Best Cinematography, Best Art Direction, Best Original Score and Best Makeup. This means he has a good chance of winning something.

It’s about time those jackholes became aware of what I have always known about Guillermo: Man’s a genius dweeb. And I love him. Congrats Memo, you deserve it, Chingon!

It’s also about time that I finally released the Rodrigo Gudino/Guillermo del Toro Mexican Gay Sex Scandal Shot to the public: